October 2008
15 posts
“I was planning on re-gifting these kickbacks to orphans.”
– Ted Stevens
“Arizona if you don’t vote for me, just watch what happens”
– John McCain
“Seeking: Experienced writer for fun new book project”
– Osama Bin Laden
“My ghostwriter must be a man of Middle Eastern background who possesses ability...”
– Osama bin Laden
“Is it possible to abort a 44-year-old woman?”
– John McCain
“I want to be the Joker for Halloween too!”
– Christian Bale
“That Trader Joe’s warehouse fire was no accident.”
– Osama Bin Laden
“You want to help me out? Don’t pour your grease down the god damn drain.”
– Joe the Plumber
“I can’t side with turncoat Republicans. So fuck it. I’m now Barr all the way....”
– Samuel L. Jackson
“Do you know how many times I had to turn down Dancing With the Stars?...”
– Ringo Starr
“So what if my nose falls off? I still have my mouth!”
– Amy Winehouse
“If I do win, my first kiss is going to be with an old chocolate maker in...”
– Barack Obama
“I thought Barack Obama was a rookie wide receiver for the Chicago Bears. Turns...”
– Peyton Manning
“I’m using daylight savings time to reset the national debt clock.”
– Henry Paulson
“So, I am off to my fallout shelter deep in the Berkshire mountains. Yeah, I got...”
– Jim Cramer