July 2008
35 posts
“I’m tired of being compared to influential black figures.”
– Britney Spears
“OK, I’m ready to admit it. I wrote “Umbrella” when it was raining...”
– Rihanna
“I’m too cool? John, this is the same argument the dorky kid in the...”
– Barack Obama
“After all, I invented sexiness. OK, fine, I re-invented it.”
– Justin Timeberlake
“Oh don’t get so sensitive on me, people! It was just some good-natured...”
– Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
“The real reason I stay so hidden is because if I tell people that I want to stab...”
– Christain Bale (aka Patrick Bateman)
“In honor of Randy Pausch, this is ‘The Last Blog Post’”
– John Mayer
“And the burritos, they’ve been like a touchdown in my mouth. Bomber’s Burrito...”
– Peyton Manning
“In Top Gun 2 I play a flight school teacher — Professor Maverick —...”
– Tom Cruise
“Phish fans are the worst. You know the type. You may have worked with one, or be...”
– John Mayer
“Heath, man, you the shit. I coulda played that role better, but I don’t...”
– Samuel L. Jackson
“If Ensure comes in 40 oz. cans, pour one out for Estelle.”
– Snoop Dogg
“Christian Bale’s arrest catapults me to 3rd best Batman.”
– Val Kilmer
“Barack is wrong. If we leave Iraq, America will die. It will be your fault for...”
– John McCain
“Look, I’m only going to play the Jesse Jackson clip five more times and...”
– Bill O’Reilly
“I am as patriotic a red-blooded American as any billionaire with an Eastern...”
– Donald Trump
“My initials spell B.O. Did someone not shower today? I did shower today though....”
– Barack Obama (from “Plenty of funny things about this guy!”)
“Someone came up to me the other day and said my work has become...”
– Eddie Murphy
“What I want to know is, where does the title ‘Alvin and the...”
– David Hasselhoff
“George Clooney is funny. When I get scared about life he always knows what to...”
– Brad Pitt
“At 55-years young, I still have like a stomach like a sewer grate. It’s...”
– David Hasselhoff
“Can we please get off this subject before Larry King devotes a full got-damn...”
– Samuel L Jackson
“With great technology comes great responsibility. We have a little edict in our...”
– Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
“Keep me out of your political warfare, Barack.”
– Dr. Phil
“It’s come to the point where after a concert, I have more scraps of paper...”
– John Mayer
“Hidden climate fact # 1: Bigfoot doesn’t have a larger carbon footprint...”
– Dick Cheney
“I’m really sick of being asked about the environment.”
– Al Gore
“The quality of action I get from playing ‘Your Body is a Wonderland’ has...”
– John Mayer
“We need to stop, really stop; cold turkey. I don’t mean buy a hybrid car. I mean...”
– Thom Yorke
“This recession, like my hair, just needs an elaborate combover”
– Donald Trump
“And if the Mommy and Daddy are very famous, then there are hoards of rabid...”
– Angelina Jolie (from “My gynecologist, my hero”)
“Penguins being effected by global climate change? They live in Antarctica! Even...”
– Bill O’Reilly (from “No more handouts, penguins”)
“I’m just saying, if something really terrible happens to you and it can...”
– Dr. Phil (from “I was wrong, denial can be a great thing”)
“I hope a white person does something racist because I have nothing to do this...”
– Al Sharpton (via david)
“Well then why do Jews still dress up like Abraham Lincoln?”
– Mel Gibson (via gregnews fredseibert)